Friday, December 3, 2010

Ever notice that no one mentions
fact that you are driving on a
one way street
unless you are
driving the
WRONG way on the
one way street?
Much ado then. :)

Tim and I went to our once a year Trailblazer game a month ago. Every time we go I remember our first trek up there. I was lost, kind of scared and worried we were going to miss the game. Every street is packed and one know how it is. Finally I saw a group of people just standing around and one was wearing a uniform, like a cop or guard. And miracle of miracles...the road in front of them had a place to park. So I whipped in, rolled down my window and said "can you tell me how to get to the Rose Garden?" And the uniform guy says "No, and you better get off the tracks cause the train is coming." Well, duh. And then once I took my older son shopping and when we pulled out of the lot he said "um, Mom, this is a one way street...and it ain't the way you are going". Well, duh..again. But, that is why I asked my question. I drive one way streets almost daily and no one finds it pertinent to open their window and let me know I am on one. And there is no honking of the horns or middle finger waving just to celebrate the fact that we are all on a one way street. But let one poor sap (me) even go 10 feet the wrong way..and the celebration begins.
P.S. Sorry I posted early, but only have one day a week off so it was now or never.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Gilligans Island!

Just sit right back and I'll tell a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
Mike says it was a stupid sit-com
I say it was the onset of gay liberation.

I can't believe we even had this conversation, but we did. In my youth (way back in the way when), I loved this show. Then when reruns showed up on tv, I realized it was just stupid. And now I realize it was just a totally gay show. I mean, grown men totally ignoring a couple of hotties like Ginger and Mary Anne??? And that whole "Skipper" and "Little Buddy" thing? If those aren't some gay euphemisms..then I don't know what is. Hope I didn't offend any die hard Gilligan fans out there (could there even be such a thing)?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Tim, my silent son of twenty years,

filled out a job app at Bear Creek.
He did not get hired yet..he might not,
but he interviewed..


This has been my biggest worry in life, but to know that he can do it is more of a relief to me than having the doctor tell me "it's just a cyst". I was so proud of him, he just walked right up to the counter and a perfect stranger (well, not really perfect...she was kind of chunky and had glasses). But he did it. So if he gets hired this season or not, I don't care, but for his self-esteem, it would be nice to get a reward for jumping such a huge hurdle.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Home from work at 3 a.m.
DRATS! A light shines on my pillow.
Not a full moon?
Why so much light?
Why haven't I noticed that it's
REALLY dark here anymore?

Honestly, I hadn't noticed until Tim and I tried to see the great meteor shower a few weeks ago that it is just not DARK anymore. The area is getting commercialized and everyone has big lights to deter crooks (cause they all have SOOO much to steal). When we were kids and slept outside it was so dark you couldn't see anything, now I can see all the way across the street. Or maybe when I was a kid it was just the same and I was just a big ass baby afraid of the dark, so it seemed darker. But either way, unless i arrange the blinds just so, and the cat doesn't get in the window and move them I will have a bright light shining right in my face. I like dark when I am sleeping (trying to sleep)...DARK AND QUIET! How far from humanity does one have to go in the world today to find absolute dark and quiet? No spaceship shit, though...I have that claustrophobia thing going on. I like air ALL around me, not just in a limited supply.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

MY SUNDAY 160Cooler mornings.
Slightly cloudy skies.
A leaf falling here and there.
But the true harbinger of summers end?
The pool no one is brave
to get in. BRRRR!

(sorry i posted early, but have to work early's getting colder here and I noticed on my first night off in a while how much earlier the darkness is coming. I guess summer was slow in arriving but quick to depart this year).

Sunday, August 22, 2010


(as close to poetry as I can get)

Here I am, tears running down my face.
Heartbroken or sad?
Have I been sprayed with mace?
These things don't make me hoot.
Just the smell of my dogs butt toots.

(as i write this my booboo is under my desk, passing wind that smells worse than sitting in the infield of a Nascar race when all the cars have bad catalytic converters, I mean, really. What does that dog eat)?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

This picture reminds me of my life.
Trying to balance it all without
falling in the deep end.
O! what a splash that will be
this rock come tumbling down.

Friday, August 13, 2010

New GEICO Commercial - Piggy

I LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL! For some reason it just always makes me smile. Maybe because it is just so silly.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Is silence truly golden?
My son, my greatest worry in life.
He speaks to just 3 people in the world.
Life is passing him by.

Selective mutism is a cruel burden.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

My Sunday 160
craigslist to find a used car.
2 Yugos..$100.
'86 & '88, not running.

"'86 ran a few years ago"
Guess they can Flinstone it
put their earthpads to work.

the situation here has become untolerable (intolerable?). My 401 loan money will be here this week to buy brian and emily a car. Mike is being a total ass now. He HATES brian just because he is living here. Last week he sent me a text saying if he were lucky Brian would wreck the car I get them and be killed, and the second text he just wished God would reach down and kill Brian. The pathetic thing is he really means it. Now, after bitching that they need a car, he is all pissed off because I am going to get them a car. He wants me to put the loan money on a new car for me and give them my Jetta. He doesn't seem to understand that I don't want a new car, I don't want to make payments and I don't want to pay full coverage. Plus I still need to get brakes on my car and get an oil leak fixed. He has become so hostile to Brian and Emily that I won't even have Brian ride with him when they have virtually the same schedule. I drop Brian off, come home, go to work and take a late lunch (9) so when Brian gets off I pick him up, he drops me off and then comes back at 1:30 to get me. It is really sucking. Mike even suggested that with the loan money I could set him up in a studio apartment til Brian and Emily have enough to move out???? How can one adult (I should say "alleged" adult) hate one 20 year old kid so much? Brian is nice, polite, quiet...he got a job. The stress on me is really getting bad. Sleep is almost just a memory to me.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

My Grandma made beautiful quilts her entire life,
That are cherished by us all.
How could her gifted hands also create
those terrifying sock monkeys on her bed?

aren't childhood memories wonderful? I can't remember where i put my car keys or glasses 5 minutes ago, but i can remember those damned sock monkeys. Grandma always had her bed covered with one or another of her quilts (and even as a kid i knew they were beautiful), and her homemade pillows. She sewed all by hand, she knitted she crocheted (i can't even spell it)...and then to top it off there were those damn sock monkeys. I'm not sure why, but they always (and still do) creep me out. Some people don't like clowns (which bear a striking resemblance to sock monkeys), my thing is sock monkeys. The only thing nowadays that i can equate them with is the Burger King. If I were a little kid today i would be terrified of the Burger King. There is just something so wrong about him.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Central Point lawmaker Jason Atkinson is helping lead a legislative effort to outlaw disposable plastic bags in the state in 2010.

The Oregonian reports the effort is led by Sen. Mark Hass of Beaverton and Atkinson. The two introduced a plastic bag ban in February's special session. Hass says he's been working with grocers and environmentalists and others since then to encourage the use of reusable canvas bags.

Opponents of a ban says people can prevent plastic bags from becoming litter or going into landfills by simply recycling them.

— The Associated Press

Ok, i confess, I am not exactly an environmentally concious idiot, but at least I use cloth grocery bags and recycle pop cans. I abslolutely will not buy water in a bottle and I don't dump toxic waste into the rivers. So my big problem with this news story is a state with one of the highest unemployment rates in the country, is this really what our representatives have been elected to do? Is this what they are spending their time on? And what happens to the people who produce these plastic grocery bags? They now join the ranks of the unemployed because obviously this will mean less production for their company. Mike says it won't do that because they still make garbage bags and stuff...I say he is wrong. If a company stops producing a product (any product) they need less people. It's like newtons law or murphys law or something. And then what about the cost of groceries. I read that a plastic bag cost a store 1 cent and paper bags are 4 cents. Multiply that by thousands a day and that adds up too something (I'm not going to get my calculator out to try and figure it out). Anyway, my point is just that this seems like a non isssue in a state where there are much bigger unemployment, health care (or lack of), lack of school funding, high taxes. Maybe they will do what some other countries do...they tax plastic bags, I heard. And then where does it stop? I walk my dogs on the bike path everyday and there is some jerk out there who always picks his dog poo up in a doggie poo bag and then leaves it on the trail??? I mean, what the hell? Doesn't this person realize that dog poo is biodegradable but the little crapper packs (which also are) will take a much longer time to go away. Why not just make the grocery bags out of the crapper pack bag stuff so they biodegrade if you don't reuse them? Like I said, it just irritates me that this is what some elected officials are worried about when so many others out there are just wishing for a job so they actually could buy some groceries and have to decide on paper or plastic.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

so this is how it went yesterday paying my cable bill:
Sunday, i went on line to pay my bill. when i clicked "pay now" my whole screen goes blank. Shit! did my payment go through? Don't click again, can't afford to pay twice. Solution..wait til monday morning and see what happened.
Monday: call charter..listen to nice robot lady for 10 years, minutes. finally agent says "call bank". call bank (slightly faster than cable company), they say call cable company. listen to nice robot lady another ten years (i mean decades), then agent says "no payment made, please try again"
go on line push "pay now" won't believe this part....another blank screen. now i know it isn't me or my computer because i also paid at&t and pp&l on sunday with no problems. call friggin cable company AGAIN!!! here is how it went this time
Robot lady: welcome to charter communications
ME: no response
Robot lady: briefly telling me what you are calling about
ME: billing
ROBOT lady: let me give you some choices, support..billing
Robot lady: Billing, i can help you with that. let me look up your account. Your amount due is $200.00. would you like to pay $200.00.
Me: NO ...(keep in mind here i am only trying to find out if i just paid 200 or not)
Robot lady: the minimum amount to pay for uninterrupted service (who the hell are they kidding...charter doesn't care about uninterrupted service, trust me, it happens here all the time). is $140. would you like to pay $140?
Me: NO
Robot lady: what amount would you like to pay?
Me: (silence)
Robot lady: What amount would you like to pay ? (it may be my imagination here..but she sounded like she was getting kind of snotty with me)
Me: silence
Robot lady: Please use the buttons on your telephone to indicate the amount you wish to pay. (ok, now I KNOW she is getting down right nasty...her tone is inferring that i probably had my pet monkey call in the first place cause no way am i smart enough to dial a phone number).
me:(thinking now i can ask for a real person) "an agent"
robot lady: the amount you wish to pay is $800.00. Is this correct?
Me: *&%#@^& NO. (then i was afraid to say anything else, figuring the robotic demoness would take "representative or human" and rhyme it with bazillion.
but eventually i managed to pay $200. a real person came on and had me clear my cookies and blah blah blah (but that wasn't it, because like i said my other bills went through just fine). what a day...and all so i can keep internet and blog.

Saturday, July 17, 2010


I just found out in September
there is going to be a new Mr. Potato Head.
It's going to be a 70's ELVIS.
White jumpsuit and all.

Life is SWEET!

(the reason this excites me so much is because I love Elvis. Singers now days (if you can call them singers) don't even compare to him. I have a whole collection of Elvis things on shelves in my living room. And I guess why the things are so important to me is not just because they are Elvis things, but because I bought very few of them myself. Like Sheri's shadowbox memories, these Elvis things have been gifts from people that know I love Elvis and have taken the time to remember that about me. I have a postcard from Graceland thet Lila (whom has since retired) sent me when she went on vacation there. I have belt buckles and a pez collection. It's not expensive stuff, but it's my stuff. For a wedding present Mike got me an Elvis movie dvd collection. And I love it, even though I will be the first to admit Elvis was a, well, not so great actor. I have talking Elvis birthday cards. My oldest son Ben, is responsible for most of the things, he gets me elvis things for every holiday. This year was very special. Tim had his own money and he actually spent some on me. He got me an Elvis Presley BLVD street sign which I mounted just under the shelves and an Elvis gold record picture frame. So for Christmas I am putting the elvis mr. potatohead at the top of the list, and they are also going to do an elvis all in black mr. cool is all of this news? Now my biggest dilemma will be, do I leave it in the box or take it out and play with it?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I haven't actually blogged blogged for a while it seems. So, here is what has been happening in my life. Brian is still here, he got a job at winco where Mike works. He is working in the deli all I can hope now is that he keeps the job. It has been a very rocky 2 months for sure. Mike has been his typical asshole self at times. Even now that Brian has a job he says things like "if he gets fired he goes back home". so once i said "why would he get fired, he just got hired?" that's when he told me some (all?) of the people at winco didn't have a great opinion of Brian. so i said, how can that be, he's only been there for 4 days? seems mr. wonderful has been bad-mouthing brian to anyone there who would listen ever since he found out brian was coming to visit. then he says "but I fixed it, since he got hired I have been telling everyone he is a great catch for emily and a good kid". I was really really pissed. I said "you can't FIX it. People won't just forget all the shit you said for 2 months". So here is poor Brian walking into that. Then Mike had kept saying since we only have 2 cars that we would make sure to get Brian to any job he got. So a few times now their schedules have coincided and they have ridden together. Then he bitches about that. He likes to travel the Lone Ranger or something. Finally the other day I just had enough, I was demoing at winco and he walked by complaining "ride in, Brian..lunch, Brian..home, sucks". I just got pissed in the middle of winco and said "he's 20 years old, 3000 miles from home, no friends or family, why the hell can't you just be nice?" There is just no pleasing him, so I don't try anymore. Whatever is done to appease him it just isn't enough. Then any time he gets mad he says he will just take his paycheck and go! "???" SO??? I have lived on my own before (several times) as a matter of fact I supported him when he moved up here for s few months. So go already. Sometimes I wonder how I didn't see how selfish he was before we were married. Because that is exactly what it comes down too. He doesn't ever seem to take into account anyone elses feelings. Brian is a very long way from his family, Emily is his only friend here. I would be scared, especially if someone kept threatening to send me away at any moment. The whole thing has just worn me down, that's for sure. Now Mike brought home another application for emily. The pizza dept is hiring in winco. She already tried for the job brian got and for the cart kid job. I truly hope she doesn't get this job, I can just imagine ,mikes bitching if he has emily riding with him too. I turned in her application at bear creek. I would like her to get on there for now, then she can just ride with me until Brian saves up and gets his own car. Enough of all of this.
I finally got my pool up. Waited until the end of June when summer seemed to finally get here...only to realize all my filter hoses were filter sieves. So ordered those and by the time they got here the temp has been in the high 90's to 100's. Today is 97, but the pool was great yesterday...I got a sunburn just floating around. Today I start my new schedule at Bear Creek. We are going to 7 days a week (they seem to think there is going to be a big christmas season this year...not sure what financial news they are watching, but it sure isn't the ones i see). so i work sun-weds, 10 hr days and the other crew is weds-sat. That means i can only demo on fri and sat now, and I will have every thursday off. it works out good for me, because sometimes i demo on fri, sat and sun so i never get a day off. well, guess that's it for now. I'm off to work. did you happen to read my sunday 160 today? My GOD!!! the earwigs are driving me crazy. I can't put anything down anywhere for 5 minutes without having to shake an earwig out. I won't even usr my clothesline because then I just have to throw the clothes in the dryer anyway to kill the shitty things. I leave my hoses laying in the grass because if i roll them up they earwigs hide in them. the other day i turned my sprinkler on and hardly any water came out, so upon further investigation I discovered it was plugged with earwigs. And there were nests of them in all my solar lights. worst of all, they keep eating all my flowers. I have gone through 2 boxes of bait and they just keep coming back. They even show up in the house, which really creeps me out. I saw an episode of Night Gallery once (remember that show) where an earwig went into a guys ear and started eating his brain. And of course, once i see one i have the heebie jeebies for hours feeling them on me.

Do the curly shuffle
nyuck nyuck nyuck
That's what everyone else is doing.

But here in Redneckville
when we pick something
we do the earwig shake.
Hey Moe

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Another child "gone missing".
Does that phrase begin to convey
the anguish of the parents?
Can even God protect the children
from all the monsters in the world?

is it just me, or does everyone else hope that there is a special place reserved in hell for anyone who hurts an innocent child. I cannot even begin to imagine the agony of not knowing where my kids are or if they were ever coming home again. when it's stranger danger I hope that those people burn in hell, when it's a family member i hope they burn in hell over and over and over again. Is that harsh? I don't really care. It's Gods job to forgive, not mine. And I'm sure He is way more capable of doing it than I would ever want to be.actually, in this instance I don't even want to be forgiving. There are no excuses, no justifications no's just pure evil. My own kids are 18, 20 and 33, yet I still fear for them in this world. It seems so odd that when I was young I never feared a boogey man but the older I get the more sure I am that there is always another one out there just waiting for his chance.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.
I'm also going to take the $10 my Mom
gives me and buy some flowers
to plant.
Then make a chocolate cake
(to share)?

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The internet is like my car.
It's been around a while.
I love it and can't live without it.
But when it won't work, it is
just a piece of shit!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

here i sit. upset, crying and seeing no happy solutions. in a previous blog i mentioned emilys boyfriend, brian, came for a visit and stayed to look for a job..and Mike has been pissed off ever since. so, today i get yet another long text from him...Brian must go now..or else he is moving out. so i leave work early and come home, we have a big fight. then i have to tell emily the bad news. so now every one is upset...except mike, because he is getting his way. and i sit here wishing i had enough money right now to just say "fine, get out". he has been drinking all day, of course. and when i was standing there all upset he just started making fun of me because i couldn't articulate the words i wanted to say. so, how does that make me feel? how would anyone feel. i am thinking that if the marketing job doesn't pick up i will find another part time job and then he can just be gone. i have truly had enough this night. but as for emily and brian, i think maybe some time apart won't be such a terrible thing. when she gets a job he can come back and stay until he also finds work. I just don't have any answers tonight. I am tired, upset, I left work early which I never do. Mike is just so selfish at all times and looking back i realize he always has been, I just never noticed it so much as i have lately. The unemployment rate in Oregon is around 11 %, and Brian hasn't found a job in 5 weeks...gosh, how terrible. Brian even asked me if he were to get a loan from his dad to help out with the car ins. would that make mike more reasonable. I had to tell him that truthfully, I doubt it. i am just so frustrated right now, and on top of everything else, my internet keeps going out, so every few minutes i just sit here trying to vent and even the cable company is against me this night. I have called them so many times lately that i finally just printed their number on the front cover of the phone book. but, what i started to type an hour ago was that it seems my relationship with mike is always just give, give, give. last year i saved money and bought him a sig sauer pistol, this year i saved and bought him an ar15 rifle because he wanted one, and when he first moved here i took out a loan on my 401 to build another room on the mobile or else he wouldn't live here. I guess it was a good thing i did that though, if not i would be looking at a big house payment if he goes. he never gives, he just takes and leaves behind hurt and heartache, but he doesn't ever care because he gets his way. i can't be sure how this will end...i am sure it won't be a happy ending, maybe just an ending.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

All the women wear sandals.
My ugly feet are stuffed
like turkeys into shoes.
I wonder, where do they
find the time to paint their

Monday, June 7, 2010

well, all is certainly not well here. mike just sits here and stews all the time then when he goes to work he sends me these long text about "get this done, get that done" etc. Now i am supposed to get brian out on july 1st, then when emily gets a job and can cover his car insurance he can come back here to stay and look for work. sounds reasonable, except for brian has nothing left to go home too. he quit his job to stay here, he cancelled his car ins. back there. and among all this my nerves are frayed. the truth is, even if they both get a job and try to save money to move out, he will still be stewing about them being here. so i can see this coming to no good end. my neighbor has her 30+ year old son living with her, not working, just drinking and hanging out. they fight all the time. my other neighbor has his 30+ son living with him, i don't here any fighting, but his son drinks and has lost his drivers lisence. my other neighbor let her son move a travel trailer onto her front lawn for months til he went to jail for drug charges (what a messed up neighborhood, mr. rogers would be so proud). and as mentioned before, mike moved home with his parents several times in his adult what the F**K is his problem? I am just truly tired of everything being all about him. i don't think he has ever once considered my feelings in all this and the fact that i am not going to toss my daughter out or her boyfriend. I am tired of tippy toeing around worried about what will make him mad. do you know something dumb? the other night i went to bed and he was crabby earlier so i didn't turn my light on. i only managed to pull up the quilt and get under it instead of between the . is the dumb part..i just slept there all night because i didn't want to upset him by getting up and moving all around and then crawling back into bed. is this any way to live my life? always wondering what will piss him off? Don't get me wrong, he doesn't hit me or anything, it's just all the emotional crap i am sick of. like just this minute, i got a text from him. he sat here all morning and never spoke then when he got to work he sent a long text as mentioned above, so i texted back and said this exactly "to afraid to say this to me so write a fucking book?" he finally just answered me and said he didn't know what he wanted to say, won't write a f***ing thing any more..f***ing problem solved". so i did the only mature thing i could do, i texted back "whatever". I think i can afford to live on my own, i still have two jobs and if i make emily and brian pay up while they are here i can do it. there is just so much wrong right now. did i mention that he went through $100 of brandy in his 10 day vacation? one bottle every day of various sizes. (can't see how that might contribute to any of the problem, can you?)
now it is 2 a.m. i just got home from work...will i sleep on the couch or try to crawl into bed without disturbing him thus upsetting the apple cart...waving a red flag in front of the bull...jiggling the get my drift? smart money says i will just stay on the couch. one of the things that makes me so mad is that we never "argue". he just has his say and that is it...end of discussion. he either walks off or gets really pissy, but he NEVER listens to what i have to say. i suppose that is why i have a blog to vent on. oh, and yesterday i got an email from his mom saying they wanted to come and visit on the 23, 24 and 25. just like last year. he told me to write back and say it wasn't a good time, that next month would be better (brian will be gone, he figures). so i wrote back and told her what he said, but i also told her that he was mad that brian was here and it would be a totally uncomfortable dinner with him glaring at everyone. how is that for a bit of justice? I snitched him out to his own mother! i'm not sure what will happen here. today i am just to tired and frustrated to even worry about it anymore.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

A picture is worth 160!
The latest fad
$2-$5k for a small
cut to put dimples in
cheeks or chins.
My butt must be worth
at least a gazillion bucks!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

This is my 2nd 160 today. Obviously the first was hours before everything went tits up again.
Does this count as 320? Am I cheating?

He drinks to much
than co
ntrols with anger.
Who wants to live
this way anymore?
Security? Happiness?
Who am I kidding?
Maybe the ultimatums
should come from me.

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Singing 59th St. Bridge Song
walking my dogs along
slow down
you move to fast
Now I kn
ow why I feel
old beyond my 53
I never in my life used the w

Monday, May 17, 2010

I have so much to blog about, but not sure how far I will get. The internet is sporadic (at best). I think a flock of geese flew over the rockies and screwed it all up today. And Michael is on vacation this there goes my alone time. Suffice it to say for now the last month has been "interesting"...with more to come. Oh, how will this story all play out? There is Brian..Emily..Tim..Booboo...ribs and no airplanes. I can't be sure even where to begin the whole thing. But the end is even fuzzier in my head. I guess the beginning is a good place to start. Emily turned 18 on april 27th, and her boyfriend came to visit for 10 days. His name is Brian and he is from Pennsylvania (what? you say. How did she come to have a boyfriend 3000 miles away?). Well, they met on x-box live!! Yes, i know...don't even go there, ok? I figure, what is the difference between meeting there, high school, facebook, e-harmony, Every couple has to meet some place. And I was willing for him to come here..not for her to go there and end up in some white slave ring or worse yet on the Jerry Springer show, fighting over brian with some amish chick gang.. Is that even on anymore? Well, Michael wasn't happy about the whole thing..he didn't want them interfering with his "lifestyle" (what lifestyle is that, you ask)?Beats the shit out of me, I answer. Near as I can see all he does every night after work is to grab his bottle of brandy and Booboo and head for the bedroom to watch tv. Now let me digress here to mention the fact that I have come to the conclusion that Booboo and brandy are the 2 most important things in this world to him. But, on with the story. All went very well, Emily looked great for her very first date. We bought a nice dress and shoes...the whole works. Then the visit continued...and the day before Brian was going to leave Emily says she wants to talk to me about Brian. (YIKES...she is moving to Penn. with him, I just know it). But, much to my amazement, she asks if he can stay here and look for a job. I said it was ok with me, but they had to ask his parents and Michael first. Then I went to work. Next morning Michael gets up..."why isn't Brian at the airport" he says. OOPS...guess they forgot to ask him. So when I told him what was going on, he is very pissed...doesn't speak to me for 3 days, calls in sick to work because he is just so stressed out (his lifestyle is in great danger here, remember). And i took the whole blame because I didn't want him more irritated by Brian and Emily than he already was (they were supposed to ask him, remember?) So, now Brian is here until the end of June, and if he isn't working by then he will have to go back to Penn. and work out something else and save some money or whatever his plans are. It has been very tense to say the least. Michael keeps telling me all things wrong...Brians cologne is to strong..they are to noisy...they dared take Booboo to the park with them...all these little nitpicky shit things. But, let me digress again. Michaels whole attitude is really pissing me off. the main thing that really gets to me is that he is begrudging Brian the same chances he has had numerous times in his life. When he moved up here almost 4 years ago he lived with me for several months with no income at all and I was fine with that, then the first job he got was at target, and after 2 months one morning i said "are you going to work?" and he said "NO. I hate it and I'm not going back". (talk about making a lifestyle change without discussing it with your partner). And since he has been an adult he has moved home to live with his parents at least 3 times that I know of. So, why is he so unwilling to give someone else a break? I just don't get it. And he continues to act like it was some conspiracy on my part to keep Emily from moving away. (I was also on the grassy knoll in Dallas in 1963...even though I was only 6 years old, and don't even ask me about Area 51...I'd have to shoot you). So, that is that part of my story. Then there is the whole
Booboo thing. When I first rescued her from the pound I thought Michael would not like her...but he loves her...almost exclusively, I think. So here is the rib story. A couple of months ago Tim wanted BBQ ribs, so I got some and Mike BBQ'd them. I don't like ribs and Mike didn't either, but Tim and the dogs loved them. So Mike wanted me to buy some more this week. I said I wasn't buying them just for dog food, but he said he would have some. So, after he BBQ's them, he doesn't eat any (not good, he says) Brian has some and there are 4 left for Tim (not very big ones either). So Mike says he is glad he picked the 2 best ones out for Booboo. Well, me being a good mom, swapped them out, and gave the 2 best to Tim (who had just spent all afternoon mowing the lawn)and Booboo got 2 smaller ones. Mike was pissed...another day of the silent treatment. So, what am i missing here? Is it because he never had any kids that he doesn't comprehend the parent/child attachment? Is it because he was the youngest of 6 and fairly spoiled so the world revolves around him? I really am not sure if I'm just to close to see the big picture. The one thing I do know is this. I do not like him trying to control me through anger. It just seems very immature on his part to get mad and sulk every time something doesn't go his way. I don't like feeling like I am walking on eggshells in my own home. Tip-toeing around wondering what will piss him off next.
ok, enough about all of that. I also got fired from winco! not really fired, just terminated. they closed down their demo department and went to an outside marketing company. the good (?) news is, the marketing company called and offered me a job. so i went from $8.75 an hour to $10 an hour. the bad news is the whole program is really messed up. they called last week and said there wasn't any work, so when i went shopping saturday there was some new guy doing demo??? and the products for demoing are not always ordered and the coupons packages haven't been delivered since they switched over. the whole thing is very disorganized. so i am just taking a wait and see approach to the whole t
hing. if it gets to be more of a hassle than it is worth i will just quit. i am almost sure i can find better things to do on my weekends. i still haven't weeded around my roses, maybe i will just buy a goat. and i need to start getting the pool cleaned up, because i am almost sure that someday summer will arrive. if it weren't for tim taking over the mowing for me this year i would have grass as high as an elephants eye...for that he deserves the two biggest matter how upset someone else gets.
gee, do i sound pretty whiney? I just haven't spilled my guts for 3 weeks and it feels good to get it out. and don't get me wrong..i do love michael. he is the best husband i have had...not that it takes a lot to top the previous ones. it's just at this point in my life i am in no mood for ultimatums and poutings and the cone of silence treatment. i don't even mind playing second fiddle to booboo, i also happen to like my dogs more than i like most people. my dogs never pout, give them some kibble and fresh water in the toilet and a walk every day, and they act like they won the lottery.
another high point of my month was that i got pulled over by a state policeman on my way home. i thought i had taken care of that. the thing is, i have a set of trailblazer license plate holders on my car. actually i took them off my old datsun so they have been on my cars for at least 15 years. Last year i got pulled over 6 times (yes 6) because the cops couldn't see all of my tags, the plate covered them up. They always said the same thing.."take the holders off", but i never did. so last month when i got new tags i stuck them half way up on the plates so even friggin' stevie wonder could see them. and still i get pulled over. and why you ask? because i was going 59 in a 55 zone. I was on the interstate..the freeway...I5. what the hell? 1:30 in the morning, not another car around, just me and him. What? is he just bored? in the afternoons going to work on the same stretch you are lucky if anyone is going less than 70. he actually asked me what my hurry was. i thought about telling him i had a heart in the trunk for organ transplant, or that i was trying to beat my time clock to drive way speed record (which is 13 minutes)...but even i could see that would just be asking for a ticket instead of a warning. at times the intelligence of silence outweighs the pure fun of sarcasm (not often, just sometimes). so now every night coming home i creep along at 55 wondering where the little jerk is hiding. One car, diving through quicksand it seems. how will i ever break my record this way?
i believe i will post this now. it's 3 a.m. and bed awaits me. i have been working on this for 4 days now. thanks for listening to my petty whinnings

Sunday, May 16, 2010

A new love waits at my gate.
Fresh, pure, unmarked by
this world of hate.
Why do I do this year after year?
Out with the old..
My new phonebook is here!

(yeah, like that wasn't the highlight of your week too)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Take a well deserved, once-in-a-lifetime nap.
GOOD GOD! HELP! what is that cacophony?
CALL 9-1-1!
Would someone please shoot the neighbors peacock?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

HAPPY EASTER! This year is certainly flying by. Ben is going to be 33 on the 15th and Emily is going to be 18 on the 27th. I AM OLD!! I feel really old, but maybe I am just tired. I called in sick to Bear Creek on the 23rd of last month ( I wasn't really sick though, i just needed a day off). That is the last day I will be off until at least the 16th of this month. For anyone counting, that will be a 23 day run. This whole part-time (???) winco thing is really beginning to suck. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday for at least 6 hours (today was 8). That is 58 hours a week....and when the weather gets hot and my pool looks so inviting, but instead of jumping in it I head on out to winco to hear "there isn't a pretzel in my cheese" or "don't you have any coupons?" or "do you only have one flavor to pick from?". But there may be a bright spot on the horizon. Karen (only other demo-bot) told me she heard a rumor that winco may be outsourcing the demo gig to a marketing company and we would have to reapply for the job with them. SAY WHAT??? You must be kidding!! A) THIS JOB SUCKS!! B) I don't like working 7 days a week..I too have a life (such as it is). C) After doing this for over a year, no way am i going to reapply for the same job. D) Apart from my husband, I don't like anybody working there and E) People suck when it comes to free food. I would quit now, but I have never quit a job in my life, unless it was to move on to a better job, also, I do like the extra money...but mainly, in May winco gives anyone there over a year a cash bonus based on how long they have worked..that's only 6 weeks away for a possible $200 bonus. So I am just biding my time to see what happens and how long I can stick it out.
MONDAY So obviously I don't have much else to blog about. I started doing some old Sweatin' to the Oldies workouts along with my elliptical. I still haven't lost any weight...I doubt if I ever will. I eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast (just a regular size bowl..not a Jethro Bodine bowl)..a yogurt for my first break, a tuna sandwich and yogurt for lunch, and a yogurt for last break. Plus somewhere in the day i eat 2 oranges and one apple. I would eat bananas because I love them, but they really make me gassy. That's my diet 4 days a week. On winco days I just go to McDs and have a grilled chicken snackwrap for lunch, then I have dinner with Mike and the kids which is whatever we are having that night. But I don't pig out or anything. It's always been hard for me to lose weight, but I can sure gain it in a hurry. Ask me to beef up so I can play the part of Oprah in a movie and I will be there in 5 days (of course it might take a few tanning sessions to make it all real).

Any other scintillating news? No. Tim got the lawn mowed, finally. The grass was so high, so I told him I would raise the wheels and make it easier mowing. Then about 2 hours later I went out and said "boy, this grass looks really short". OOPS!! Silly me. I lowered the wheels instead of raising them. Next time he mows I will try not to help him so much.
It's very windy here today. It has been for several days now. I love listening to my wind chimes. Of course, the wind also tends to make the internet rather does rain, snow, sun, drought, flood, ice, airplanes flying over, submarines in the artic using sonar and the ice cream truck going by ringing his hear the cable company tell it though, it's always something in my system that makes the internet quit. Funny if I pay my bill late they call me right up with a "reminder", but if I call 5 times a week about my internet being out again all I get is a runaround. I have thought lately about starting a log book, and everytime I lose my connection I will write down the time and the duration (if I am still alive by the time it comes back on). Then I will take my log book in and demand that they prorate my bill and knock off all the time I lost. I have heard that the problem is that Charter is running high speed internet out to this area but they are just using old cable lines, not the newer fiberoptic shit. I guess that sounds as plausible as anything else. Unfortunately, where I am, Charter is my only option for high speed.
I went shopping this weekend after work...I forgot to buy my pantyliners. BIG OOPS!! This topic has been discussed here before, so I won't dribble on and on about it. But, when it comes to pantyliners my motto is the same as american express "don't leave home without it". Because I am like the energizer bunny...I just keep going..and going..and going. But I think I have come up with a solution. I'm going to buy some of those DRI-Z-AIR crystals and make my own tampons filled with them. If that stuff works as good as they say, not only will my crotch be nice and dry, but it won't have any mildew or mold growing either. No more truffle sniffing pigs following me around with their snout up my crotch. (yeah, like that never happens to the rest of you).
Well, time to get ready for work..again. Funny, I used to hate my job at Bear Creek, but since starting at Winco I have realized it isn't that bad. Working with the public just isn't my thing at all. But, when I look at the news, which is all day long, I realize how blessed I am to have a steady job, and the part time job is an added blessing (I think). I'm trying very hard to look at the glass as half full instead of half empty, I will keep that up until I have a heart attack or a nervous breakdown.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

MONDAY:i don't have much time, but i have an urge to write something. i just finished cooking chicken fried steak for dinner. i haven't ever made it before..tim tried it and said it was good, but i doubt if mike will like it. he is more pinicky than any 2 year old i ever raised. i also made coleslaw. i found the recipe on line for kfc coleslaw. mike loves maybe he can just eat that for dinner. what a time consuming dish. i just have a small food processor, so it takes a long time to chop up all the cabbage.
i had sunda
y off from both jobs, i knew i would spend most of the day cleaning. during the week my cleaning usually amounts to walking through the living room and using the sleeve of my bathrobe to wipe the dust off the tv screen (which reminds me, i really need to wash my bathrobe) i did a lot of cleaning (i even washed the sheets on my bed)!!! i thought they were getting scratchy from crumbs or booboo dirts...but they were still scratchy after i washed them. silly me. it would appear i haven't shaved my legs for a long..long..long..time. hence the itchy pokeys on my legs at night. i also picked up the leaves that have been on my lawn alll winter. now i have some very big bare spots. every year i throw out grass seed in the vain hope of growing a lush green lawn, and every year it fails. for the last two years i have even hauled pickup loads of fresh topsoil, but nothing seems to work. emily even talked me into buying that miracle grass on tv that will even sprout on your sidewalk. i didn't see it sprout in the lawn or the sidewalk or anywhere else i dropped it. but the other day i was watching tv and i saw this thing you can buy for your house or apartment for your dogs to go potty on. it's called THE POTTY PATCH. it's $40 for a 17"x27" patch. i figure my lawn to be roughly 45'x 15'. so for about $8,000.00 i could do the whole thing in potty patches. (this was sort of one of the "how many times does santa go around the christmas tree" problems). of course that $8,000 isn't counting shipping and handling.
today i was also going to blog about th
e great red vine fast i have going. i went almost 5 days without eating any, then mike went and bought a big tub of them last friday. of course, i have no will power, so i have been eating them by the handfuls. at least this time i put the tub in the kitchen and not on my desk, so i have to get up off my big ass if i really want to get one (or 2 or 3 or 4). might as well make it worth the walk in there.
i finished reading cold comfort farm. it was r
eally a good book. it actually made me laugh. it was written in the 1930"s, and for being so old, it was a very entertaining book. now i am reading the heart shaped box. a spooky story written by joe hill (whom i have discovered is actually stephen kings son). it is not scary to me, but it is keeping me interested. definately a good book.
speaking of reading...sometimes i get these catalogs in the mail that i swear are printed for old people. they have things like "shoedini" you can get your shoes on without bending over. and lots of styles of velcro shoes (ugh) and a thing called the gopher grabb
er to pick things up off the floor (again without bending over) or get things from high shelves. but the other day i actually flipped through the whole catalog...WOWZA!!! i don't know what them old people are up to, but further back there are several pages of (close your eyes you innocents) vibrators and other sexual stimuli. ok, i have been married 4 times, so i ain't no virgin, and i have seen a lot of things....but, holy crap! when did a vibrator go from just being a plastic battery operated penis replacement to being something that looks like darth vadar could have sliced and diced obi wan kenobi with? does this thing actually run on 20 D cell batteries or is it diesel powered? and for an even deeper question. should a mom actually have anything hidden in her draw that her kids (or grandkids) could take outside and wave at the neighbor kids? (like a red rider bb could probably put an eye out). and then the designer, on top of everything else kinky about it, says "and lets make it bright purple so no one will confuse it with a flashlight or a gun in the drawer". some dark and stormy night a ne'er do well thug breaks into your home and instead of grabbing your p226 sig sauer 9mm, you pull out your neon purple Rabbit vibrator and start waving it at him. life is just so ridiculous sometimes.
Y:now it is 2 days later...and here again i only have a small amount of time. i have to take emily to a job interview at winco on my way to work. she is applying to be a cart kid. then i have to leave work to take her back home. i really would like to see her get the job, but she also needs to finish her GED. and now i worry about tim. how will he feel when she moves on to a job and he is still just sitting here playing video games because he won't talk? sharyl (from work) was telling me that her moms neighbor has her 42 year old son living at home with them, and he doesn't talk to anyone and collects ssi payments. i truly want more than that for tim. i worry that one morning he will wake up and be very depressed about life passing him by because he won't talk. i had thought he could try for the cart kid job, even without talking, but mike said he doesn't think he would be able to do it because of his knees. another thing for tim to be bummed about. no one else seems to understand how much this worries me. mike always makes a joke about it when i say anything. but i realize that if anything happens to me, tim has no one to talk to except emily, and she is moving on and growing up. mike has been here for 3 years and tim doesn't talk to him. he doesn't talk to ben (my oldest son) since he moved out years ago, he has grown up here with my parents next door since he was about 5 and he never has spoken to them. now that he is out of school he is even more isolated from the world. as i have mentioned before, he is my biggest worry in life. i just don't know what to do for him.
NOW IT IS THURSDAY MORNING..i will finish this some day to post. i made chicken enchiladas for dinner yesterday. they are really good. i am taking a half of one for my dinner tonight. remember a while back when i mentioned our night crew was down to 8 people? well
, this week it is down to 4 (plus our supervisor..but she can't do much since she is still recovering from her tummy tuck). 2 of the mixers are awol. one might have another job and one has a sore neck. both have been gone since last tuesday. and our other machine operator took this week off. that leaves me to do ovens and run the machines. needless to say, upper management still seems to expect the same production even with half the crew. i have come to the conclusion that upper management are all assholes. i have always suspected as much...but now i am sure. our manager is phillipe. he is french, has a heavy french accent and one eye that looks off in some other direction all the time (it makes a person always want to look over their shoulder when he is talking to them, to see who is standing behind you). i never thought i could speak french, but now i know one word...phillipe is french for asswipe. that's pretty harsh, isn't it? but after working here for almost 24 years i just call them as i sees them (with both eyes pointing the same way).
FRIDAY 2A.M. i just got home from work and
i am determined to finish this. i have to be at winco at 10 a.m. (shit...that's only 8 hours away). 10-4 today and 11-5 sat. then i get sunday off, but we all know how a day off gets spent here. recleaning. i once read a quote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result each time. so why do i keep i insane? i spend a whole day off cleaning and think that by my next day off the house will still be clean and i can work outside. i'm not insane, i'm nucking futs! but sunday the weather is supposed to still be sunny and warm, so i would like to mow my lawn before some rabid herd of cows wanders by and sees it as fine grazing pasture. first i will need to get my mower back from ben, it has been over at his house since last summer. did i mention that melinda (his girlfriend of 7 years) finally moved out, forever? i am very happy about that. she used to be so nice, but she has totally gone nuts. rumor has it from some of their mutual friends that she is doing some very heavy drugs. actually she moved out over a year ago, but they were still "trying to work it out". she was always complaing to ben about her life going no where and being depressed, but all she would do was sit on the couch, watch tv and sleep. then when they went to counceling, of course everything was bens fault, and anytime the counselor remarked on her behavior she would get pissed. then, there was the several times she cheated on him. he told me she got mad when he insisted on wearing a concom for sex, but he said he wasn't sure who or how many guys she had slept with. this time i just hope she stays gone.
well, guess that is about all my ponderings for now. winco awaits me in a few hours, so i really should go to bed. i just have one more thing to mention. one of my particular pet peeves
is this...homeless people with a dog!!! nothing irritates me quite as much as seeing some idiot, who for whatever reason is standing by the side of the road with his "GOD BLESS..anything will help"..or "stranded..need gas money" sign, and sitting next to him is a dog. it just pisses me off that some bum who can't even take care of himself has a pet. what kind of life is that for a dog? walking down the road and inhaling exhaust fumes all day (because we don't all drive runaway priuses). but the other day i saw a most peculiar sight going to work. this guy is hitching down the freeway with a big old backpack on and he has a dog on a leash walking next to him...the unusual part is that this dog was a chihuahua. a little teeny tiny rat-looking chihauhau. and do you know what i found myself wondering? i weondered how far they had been walking..and did that little teeny tiny chihauhau actually start out as a great dane and has just had his legs walked down to the nubbins.