well, all is certainly not well here. mike just sits here and stews all the time then when he goes to work he sends me these long text about "get this done, get that done" etc. Now i am supposed to get brian out on july 1st, then when emily gets a job and can cover his car insurance he can come back here to stay and look for work. sounds reasonable, except for brian has nothing left to go home too. he quit his job to stay here, he cancelled his car ins. back there. and among all this my nerves are frayed. the truth is, even if they both get a job and try to save money to move out, he will still be stewing about them being here. so i can see this coming to no good end. my neighbor has her 30+ year old son living with her, not working, just drinking and hanging out. they fight all the time. my other neighbor has his 30+ son living with him, i don't here any fighting, but his son drinks and has lost his drivers lisence. my other neighbor let her son move a travel trailer onto her front lawn for months til he went to jail for drug charges (what a messed up neighborhood, mr. rogers would be so proud). and as mentioned before, mike moved home with his parents several times in his adult life...so what the F**K is his problem? I am just truly tired of everything being all about him. i don't think he has ever once considered my feelings in all this and the fact that i am not going to toss my daughter out or her boyfriend. I am tired of tippy toeing around worried about what will make him mad. do you know something dumb? the other night i went to bed and he was crabby earlier so i didn't turn my light on. i only managed to pull up the quilt and get under it instead of between the . sheets...here is the dumb part..i just slept there all night because i didn't want to upset him by getting up and moving all around and then crawling back into bed. is this any way to live my life? always wondering what will piss him off? Don't get me wrong, he doesn't hit me or anything, it's just all the emotional crap i am sick of. like just this minute, i got a text from him. he sat here all morning and never spoke then when he got to work he sent a long text as mentioned above, so i texted back and said this exactly "to afraid to say this to me so write a fucking book?" he finally just answered me and said he didn't know what he wanted to say, won't write a f***ing thing any more..f***ing problem solved". so i did the only mature thing i could do, i texted back "whatever". I think i can afford to live on my own, i still have two jobs and if i make emily and brian pay up while they are here i can do it. there is just so much wrong right now. did i mention that he went through $100 of brandy in his 10 day vacation? one bottle every day of various sizes. (can't see how that might contribute to any of the problem, can you?)
now it is 2 a.m. i just got home from work...will i sleep on the couch or try to crawl into bed without disturbing him thus upsetting the apple cart...waving a red flag in front of the bull...jiggling the beehive...you get my drift? smart money says i will just stay on the couch. one of the things that makes me so mad is that we never "argue". he just has his say and that is it...end of discussion. he either walks off or gets really pissy, but he NEVER listens to what i have to say. i suppose that is why i have a blog to vent on. oh, and yesterday i got an email from his mom saying they wanted to come and visit on the 23, 24 and 25. just like last year. he told me to write back and say it wasn't a good time, that next month would be better (brian will be gone, he figures). so i wrote back and told her what he said, but i also told her that he was mad that brian was here and it would be a totally uncomfortable dinner with him glaring at everyone. how is that for a bit of justice? I snitched him out to his own mother! i'm not sure what will happen here. today i am just to tired and frustrated to even worry about it anymore.
April 21, 2017 The Way Home
4 weeks ago