Thursday, June 17, 2010

here i sit. upset, crying and seeing no happy solutions. in a previous blog i mentioned emilys boyfriend, brian, came for a visit and stayed to look for a job..and Mike has been pissed off ever since. so, today i get yet another long text from him...Brian must go now..or else he is moving out. so i leave work early and come home, we have a big fight. then i have to tell emily the bad news. so now every one is upset...except mike, because he is getting his way. and i sit here wishing i had enough money right now to just say "fine, get out". he has been drinking all day, of course. and when i was standing there all upset he just started making fun of me because i couldn't articulate the words i wanted to say. so, how does that make me feel? how would anyone feel. i am thinking that if the marketing job doesn't pick up i will find another part time job and then he can just be gone. i have truly had enough this night. but as for emily and brian, i think maybe some time apart won't be such a terrible thing. when she gets a job he can come back and stay until he also finds work. I just don't have any answers tonight. I am tired, upset, I left work early which I never do. Mike is just so selfish at all times and looking back i realize he always has been, I just never noticed it so much as i have lately. The unemployment rate in Oregon is around 11 %, and Brian hasn't found a job in 5 weeks...gosh, how terrible. Brian even asked me if he were to get a loan from his dad to help out with the car ins. would that make mike more reasonable. I had to tell him that truthfully, I doubt it. i am just so frustrated right now, and on top of everything else, my internet keeps going out, so every few minutes i just sit here trying to vent and even the cable company is against me this night. I have called them so many times lately that i finally just printed their number on the front cover of the phone book. but, what i started to type an hour ago was that it seems my relationship with mike is always just give, give, give. last year i saved money and bought him a sig sauer pistol, this year i saved and bought him an ar15 rifle because he wanted one, and when he first moved here i took out a loan on my 401 to build another room on the mobile or else he wouldn't live here. I guess it was a good thing i did that though, if not i would be looking at a big house payment if he goes. he never gives, he just takes and leaves behind hurt and heartache, but he doesn't ever care because he gets his way. i can't be sure how this will end...i am sure it won't be a happy ending, maybe just an ending.