I haven't actually blogged blogged for a while it seems. So, here is what has been happening in my life. Brian is still here, he got a job at winco where Mike works. He is working in the deli there...so all I can hope now is that he keeps the job. It has been a very rocky 2 months for sure. Mike has been his typical asshole self at times. Even now that Brian has a job he says things like "if he gets fired he goes back home". so once i said "why would he get fired, he just got hired?" that's when he told me some (all?) of the people at winco didn't have a great opinion of Brian. so i said, how can that be, he's only been there for 4 days? seems mr. wonderful has been bad-mouthing brian to anyone there who would listen ever since he found out brian was coming to visit. then he says "but I fixed it, since he got hired I have been telling everyone he is a great catch for emily and a good kid". I was really really pissed. I said "you can't FIX it. People won't just forget all the shit you said for 2 months". So here is poor Brian walking into that. Then Mike had kept saying since we only have 2 cars that we would make sure to get Brian to any job he got. So a few times now their schedules have coincided and they have ridden together. Then he bitches about that. He likes to travel solo...like the Lone Ranger or something. Finally the other day I just had enough, I was demoing at winco and he walked by complaining "ride in, Brian..lunch, Brian..home, Brian..it sucks". I just got pissed in the middle of winco and said "he's 20 years old, 3000 miles from home, no friends or family, why the hell can't you just be nice?" There is just no pleasing him, so I don't try anymore. Whatever is done to appease him it just isn't enough. Then any time he gets mad he says he will just take his paycheck and go! "???" SO??? I have lived on my own before (several times) as a matter of fact I supported him when he moved up here for s few months. So go already. Sometimes I wonder how I didn't see how selfish he was before we were married. Because that is exactly what it comes down too. He doesn't ever seem to take into account anyone elses feelings. Brian is a very long way from his family, Emily is his only friend here. I would be scared, especially if someone kept threatening to send me away at any moment. The whole thing has just worn me down, that's for sure. Now Mike brought home another application for emily. The pizza dept is hiring in winco. She already tried for the job brian got and for the cart kid job. I truly hope she doesn't get this job, I can just imagine ,mikes bitching if he has emily riding with him too. I turned in her application at bear creek. I would like her to get on there for now, then she can just ride with me until Brian saves up and gets his own car. Enough of all of this.
I finally got my pool up. Waited until the end of June when summer seemed to finally get here...only to realize all my filter hoses were filter sieves. So ordered those and by the time they got here the temp has been in the high 90's to 100's. Today is 97, but the pool was great yesterday...I got a sunburn just floating around. Today I start my new schedule at Bear Creek. We are going to 7 days a week (they seem to think there is going to be a big christmas season this year...not sure what financial news they are watching, but it sure isn't the ones i see). so i work sun-weds, 10 hr days and the other crew is weds-sat. That means i can only demo on fri and sat now, and I will have every thursday off. it works out good for me, because sometimes i demo on fri, sat and sun so i never get a day off. well, guess that's it for now. I'm off to work. did you happen to read my sunday 160 today? My GOD!!! the earwigs are driving me crazy. I can't put anything down anywhere for 5 minutes without having to shake an earwig out. I won't even usr my clothesline because then I just have to throw the clothes in the dryer anyway to kill the shitty things. I leave my hoses laying in the grass because if i roll them up they earwigs hide in them. the other day i turned my sprinkler on and hardly any water came out, so upon further investigation I discovered it was plugged with earwigs. And there were nests of them in all my solar lights. worst of all, they keep eating all my flowers. I have gone through 2 boxes of bait and they just keep coming back. They even show up in the house, which really creeps me out. I saw an episode of Night Gallery once (remember that show) where an earwig went into a guys ear and started eating his brain. And of course, once i see one i have the heebie jeebies for hours feeling them on me.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
MY SUNDAY 160!Another child "gone missing".
Does that phrase begin to convey
the anguish of the parents?
Can even God protect the children
from all the monsters in the world?
is it just me, or does everyone else hope that there is a special place reserved in hell for anyone who hurts an innocent child. I cannot even begin to imagine the agony of not knowing where my kids are or if they were ever coming home again. when it's stranger danger I hope that those people burn in hell, when it's a family member i hope they burn in hell over and over and over again. Is that harsh? I don't really care. It's Gods job to forgive, not mine. And I'm sure He is way more capable of doing it than I would ever want to be.actually, in this instance I don't even want to be forgiving. There are no excuses, no justifications no accidents...it's just pure evil. My own kids are 18, 20 and 33, yet I still fear for them in this world. It seems so odd that when I was young I never feared a boogey man but the older I get the more sure I am that there is always another one out there just waiting for his chance.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
here i sit. upset, crying and seeing no happy solutions. in a previous blog i mentioned emilys boyfriend, brian, came for a visit and stayed to look for a job..and Mike has been pissed off ever since. so, today i get yet another long text from him...Brian must go now..or else he is moving out. so i leave work early and come home, we have a big fight. then i have to tell emily the bad news. so now every one is upset...except mike, because he is getting his way. and i sit here wishing i had enough money right now to just say "fine, get out". he has been drinking all day, of course. and when i was standing there all upset he just started making fun of me because i couldn't articulate the words i wanted to say. so, how does that make me feel? how would anyone feel. i am thinking that if the marketing job doesn't pick up i will find another part time job and then he can just be gone. i have truly had enough this night. but as for emily and brian, i think maybe some time apart won't be such a terrible thing. when she gets a job he can come back and stay until he also finds work. I just don't have any answers tonight. I am tired, upset, I left work early which I never do. Mike is just so selfish at all times and looking back i realize he always has been, I just never noticed it so much as i have lately. The unemployment rate in Oregon is around 11 %, and Brian hasn't found a job in 5 weeks...gosh, how terrible. Brian even asked me if he were to get a loan from his dad to help out with the car ins. would that make mike more reasonable. I had to tell him that truthfully, I doubt it. i am just so frustrated right now, and on top of everything else, my internet keeps going out, so every few minutes i just sit here trying to vent and even the cable company is against me this night. I have called them so many times lately that i finally just printed their number on the front cover of the phone book. but, what i started to type an hour ago was that it seems my relationship with mike is always just give, give, give. last year i saved money and bought him a sig sauer pistol, this year i saved and bought him an ar15 rifle because he wanted one, and when he first moved here i took out a loan on my 401 to build another room on the mobile or else he wouldn't live here. I guess it was a good thing i did that though, if not i would be looking at a big house payment if he goes. he never gives, he just takes and leaves behind hurt and heartache, but he doesn't ever care because he gets his way. i can't be sure how this will end...i am sure it won't be a happy ending, maybe just an ending.
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