Friday, August 21, 2009

another week of work and disappointments. another week of some ups and downs. on the up side, remember the pile of dirt i made digging my dog pool? i decided to grow some watermelons and cantaloupes on it..well, i picked my first cantaloupe and it was pretty good. i have a lot more coming and i have some watermelons getting ready to pick soon. on the down side, i took mike with me to town for the governments "cash-for-clunkers" program...color my face red when i found out it was for cars and not husbands. can't blame a girl for trying..shoot, i pretty much had that $4500 spent.
i have also decided that next payday i am buying new panties. it has become an absolute necessity now. i have what sheri says her dr. calls the sneeze and pees..only sometimes i don't even have to sneeze...and also i can dribble better than larry bird ever did, therefore i must wear a panty liner and it has come to my attention that i barely have and panty left to stick my liner to. i will just give the kids my old ones and they can go parasailing with them (anyone recognize their own panties flying over cancun?) years ago when i went for my yearly my dr. asked me if i had a problem and i said a little bit, then the next year he asks if it is worse and i said a little bit (i don't talk much when my privates are exposed ..just ask any of my exes). so he asks how bad, and i said i wore a panty liner. guess what he says.."how often?" well, duh? like i get up every morning and say "gee, i think i have a sneeze scheduled for today..better put one on". which brings me to another gripe...pads and liners with "WINGS"...what sadistic son of a bitch invented those. i can't be the only one out there who, in a very public place suddenly has the unbearable pain of having a curly hair stuck on the wing and it starts pulling with every step you take. 'fess up ladies..it hurts, but we just smile and keep on walking..not much else we can do. and those prisoners at gitmo whine about water boarding..weinies.

1 comment:

  1. amen, sister!! your commentary on the 'wings' issue was so good and so true! some of my worst memories are not of having an accident in a public place as often as the contorted smile i've given to the cashier at the local wal-mart because of a dysfunctional napkin. i just want to know what the heck is going on here? besides the occasional leakage, my right heel hurts all the time and i've become quite adept at limping at a fast pace, to keep up with mike. i still have my hair but a few of my favorite teeth have found their way to tooth fairy heaven. it's like there is this magical moment when our spirits are alive and well, we are starting to figure this life out...and then our bodies start falling apart, leaving peices in the most embarrassing places.

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